(((Lex)))

I was like that with my husband's grandmother's things. The things she loved COULDN'T be sold. Because selling those things was selling HER. I have much of her furniture, china and the knickknacks she loved in our home. If I had her things.. I thought... I could still have her surrounding me. Then my own grandmother moved into a nursing home-- I couldn't bear to let go of her things...she was an artist... I have over 150 of her paintings in my home. I couldn't bear to have her art sold. I have her hair pins; I have pieces of her china. I have the "family things" that no other family would understand.

Then I was the executor of my brother's estate. He had exquisite taste, and the thought of selling it all made me physically ill. He died quite unexpectedly and although I sold many of his fine antiques, I am surrounded by my brother's things. I carried them 500 miles by the vanful to my house. I have everyone else's things.. yes.. things... in my now getting cluttered home.

Then my own daughter died at 16. It has been 20 months now. And you know...

Things are things. We live among everyone else's THINGS.. and there is no room in our home for things we see at arts festivals and traveling.. that WE LOVE.

When we die, no one will have to get rid of OUR THINGS, because OUR THINGS are everyone else's.

Now I look for opportunities to make these THINGS do for others. I sent most of Sarah's clothing to Katrina victims. I kept only a few special pieces. I sent all the fake jewelry she adored to other young teens who could adore them too. Before I send things I take pictures of them. That way I don't lose the memory.

It is one thing to hang on to things you love, because YOU love them, but when you hold on to things that other people loved all the sudden you find yourself surrounded by other people's lives.

Much love...
Betsey