CE, if extra therapy visits are something you NEED which will be productive for you, you should spend the money on them regardless of whether or not your wife goes to Roswell. If, however, you don't need those extra visits, I just do not see how one equates to the other.

As someone else said, marriage is not a quid pro quo. In the years when I was competing with my horses, my husband did not insist on spending an equal amount of money on his hobbies to what I spent on horse activities (thank God!). In years when I did not, or do not compete, like the first five or six years of our marriage or the last two, I spend very little on the horses or horse activities, but I do not think just because my husband continues to pursue his own activities, that I somehow get to spend more money on other stuff to try to make it equal.

As to the jealousy issue, my husband has commented on several occasions that he does not have IMAGINE what it would be like for me to have an affair. My horse took up so much of my time and attention that he already KNEW what it was to have a rival for my attention and affection. He said if I wasn't with the horse, I was talking about the horse or thinking about the horse. So, not sure that I am the best person to comment on this one. But, my husband dealt with it by developing his own interests. He had to learn and accept that I don't belong to him and he doesn't get to stop me from having my own interests, my own friends and my own trips.

Your original post asked for opinions, but your later posts here and on the couch talk about wanting support. I support you in that I feel for you and know that what you're feeling isn't comfortable, and I wish you felt better. But, my opinion is that you're not being fair to your wife here.