A few hours ago I had to admit my 14 year-old daughter to our local psychiatric hospital for the 2nd time. Last fall she was assaulted by our next door neighbor and became suicidal and started cutting.

We've always been fairly close, and still are as far as I know, but in this one area she struggles with opening up to me. She can talk about it as a surface topic, but can't seem to go deeper. She was finally able to get back in to therapy a couple months ago, but has only seen her therapist 2 or 3 times - none of which they spent any time discussing the assault.

I'm lost. I feel like I'm failing her. Yet, I am numb. I cried uncontrollably the first time and this time I don't know what to do. Sometimes I wonder if she gets her 'stuffing feelings' from me. I seem to do it too.

When I called her dad's parents this morning, I couldn't help but wonder if they were accusing me of being a bad mother. She has always been jealous of the relationship my daughter and I have and even went so far as to tell me I would never make it without the help of them and their son. I've proved them wrong. Yet, here I sit, with their suicidal granddaughter in a mental institute for cutting. How is that good parenting?

Have I somehow managed to pass on my own childhood issues to her? mental issues run deep on my side of the family. I struggle with PTSD, BPD, Depression, etc..

I'm scared - hurt - angry - disappointed - and a host of other feelings I can't quite find a name for.