Dos3512, I'm sorry you have lost your sister. I have a sister and cannot image the pain you have, and still are experiencing.

You mentioned mindfulness. I'm a social worker and I never used mindfulness with my clients until I began to train as a sensorimotor psychotherapist and learned about the powerful healing that mindfulness can facilitate. I, myself, am unable to talk about specific things in therapy, and I do know, on an intellectual level, that mindfulness could help me open up.

In sensorimotor psychotherapy, mindfulness is specifically used to help clients talk about things that are too distressing for them and to enable them to re-experience the events, or talk about them, without overwhelming them.

If you think, this is something you might be interested in, feel free to PM and I'll send a link to locate a sensorimotor psychotherapist near you, or to simply learn more about this therapeutic approach (I am not able to post a link here due to not having enough posts yet).