Some may say i'm too blunt but here's my view. Bipolar disorder is an illness. It's not like a headache. When we have a headache, we have the choice to dull the pain with perhaps tylenol or to stick it out. You can't stick it out with a mood disorder. Yes, it is so hard to accept that you have a mood disorder, to get help and stick to your meds, suffering from side effects. Think of it this way. Thing of how much damaged you are doing to yourself by not taking your medicine. It gets easier. I promise.