I know at moments like this we question if we've somehow caused the pain and turmoil our children are going through. You are wise though; do you realize how wise you are? You know that the man who assaulted you daughter is ultimately responsible for her current pain. You also know that your own tendency to swallow your own feelings may have modeled that behavior for your daughter. Don't worry about the modeling part; that's what parents do and we model through everything we do, both healthy and unhealthy. We'd love to believe they only pick up the good stuff, but in reality we know it doesn't work that way. Don't beat yourself up about that. You are wise. You actually recognize that about the situation. An unwise parent won't even recognize or own that that is part of what has happened. That puts you and your daughter at a distinct advantage. You can work on the feelings and communication over time which should help both of you in the long run. Your daughter is so lucky to have such a wise and intuitive mother. I really, truly mean that.

I've had to hospitalize my oldest son three times (all in one summer -- hell of a summer). My middle son has ADHD and has landed himself in some precarious spots due to his impulsivity. It is painful and frightening to watch your kids struggling. We want to fix it. We want to protect them. I've learned that all I really have control of is myself, and that is very scary; I'd really like to have control over those little individuals that came out of my womb. But they start growing up and in the process of finding their way into whatever it means to be older and wiser, they take missteps despite our every effort to guide them along the right path, they get hurt despite our every effort to protect them, and they learn things that we probably wish they never would have learned.

Your daughter is in a safe place right now. She is getting care for her emotional problems. You are wise and will be sure she continues to receive the help she needs along the way. Remember in all of this to continue to take care of yourself because in the long run that will be the biggest help for your daughter. It is okay to be scared and hurt during this; this is really difficult stuff. If you have a therapist, be sure they know what is going on. They have be a huge support through this and can help navigate the way through this parenting maze.