Well I have had about 6 sessions so far with this new therapist. Its "schema therapy". Never done that one before. But it struck me after the last session that I think this therapy is having some sort of effect!

The last session was hardcore. I think she is kicking it up into high gear now. She explains a lot of info to me at the start of the session and then later she triggers me off (only a little bit). Then when I am sitting there seething, she asks me questions. I think she wants me to do something with that acid feeling that you get when you are raging. I think that is the broken bit inside me and it needs sorting out. One thing I have noticed is that even when she only slightly triggers me, a lot of BS comes out of my mouth when I am sitting in the puddle of acid, so to speak. No idea why.

I come out of the sessions feeling like I have been emotionally violated. You know that feeling where you feel like your soul has been ripped in half and the world as you know it is over today? that is the one.

It takes ALL MY WILLPOWER not to reduce the people around me into a bloody pulp when I come out of those sessions and catch the train to go home. But the bottom line is this - the therapy is having an effect on me. And that has gotta mean something productive is going on. Woohoo!