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Jul 02, 2012, 02:26 AM
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Member Since: Oct 2010
Location: Michigan
Posts: 6,543
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Dearheart, this is NOT Your fault!!! Not at all. You could NOT have helped him. An addict will NOT stop using just because someone talks/ asks/ begs/ bargains/ threatens, etc. him. The ONLY way an addict will stop is when he hits bottom. And some bottoms are very deep -- and some addicts never hit bottom -- they just die, like your brother did.  It's very very tragic, but it's true. Alcoholism and addiction are very cruel diseases that claim the lives of millions each year. And no one can do a THING about it, except the alcoholic or the addict.
YOU are not to blame, and you should NOT be beating yourself up for it. I can certainly understand WHY you were angry with him --- alcoholics and addicts are incredibly selfish people, and he kept that money so he could buy more drugs. It's as simple as that. If he was an alcoholic, he would have done the same thing. Addicts/alcoholics only think of themselves and their drug of choice. Their only thought is when they're going to get their next fix/drink. They're having an affair with their disease. The disease tells them lies, i.e. it will make them better, it will make them feel great, more fun to be around, more 'manly or more feminine' as the case may be. All lies.
You need to go to some Al-Anon meetings or else to a therapist in order to get rid of this guilt and anger. The guilt doesn't belong to you as you have nothing to feel guilty about. I understand the anger, but it's doing you no good. Please see a therapist and get some of these issues out on the table and learn how to put them to rest. God bless and please take care. Big hugs, Lee 
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