Hi all, this is my first time here and I am so grateful to have a place to come to. I do nothing the majority of the time and what's almost as bad as how this gets me down on myself, my fiance can't stand it either. I dread when he calls from work, or gets home from work, and asks what I did all day. I can see it in his eyes, the dissapointment. I try to tell him I am doing the best I can. It does not matter to him anymore. I have been hospitalized twice in the past couple of months for my depression and I have been getting ect. The guilt and shame I feel is overwhelming, not to mention th to actually bee fear it brings on that he is mad at me, which doubles the already intense guilt and shame. I try to be as perfect as I can with him, but it's like I am walking on eggshells as to not get him upset. I love him, but I am afraid he may be making my situation worse. I am so down I can't even start planning the wedding which is in three months. I don't know how to feel any better and get motivatedand and actually be a part of life. thanks for reading my post. Peace to us all.