I have been in counceling alot for a lot of different reasons. I am a very guarded individual. After a year and a 1/2 of counceling I finially brought rape up. My T was floored that she didn't pick on this sooner. She asked what did I want to do with this info. I told her I wanted to tell someone but I couldn't say it. So I wrote what I wanted her to know and brought it w/ me to the next session. She wanted to know then did I want to read it to her. My answer was NO, I CAN'T SAY WHAT IT SAYS. Can I (She) read it to herself. I told her yes. Afterwards she didn't ask me anything about it. She gave me a hug. Then she asked me what I wanted to do with what I had written. I didn't know. I was to upset to know. We ran it threw the shreader as a form of therepy. My story could not haunt me again.
Since then I have had several councelors ask me "Have you been sexually abused at some point in time". The answer is always no. I don't add it was rape. But my current councelor specializes in trauma's. I knew I couldn't say RAPE out loud so I wroth a list of all the things I wanted to talk about over the next few weeks. Kinda a to do list. My councelor was pleased to have a list to see wheat direction I wanted things to go in. Until she get to the part about Rape. Well that explains alot was all she had to say. She wanted to know if I wanted to talk about it. I told her I couldn't. Her responce was if I couldn't then I was not ready to. She said I could write about it, give details what ever. or Not give details. (No one should ever relive that if they choose not to) I could write how I think it has affected my thinking and way of looking at things. I'm still not sure what to do with my own feelings and thoughts on this. The councelor says thats o.k. I'll know when the time is right. I to have only seen my councelor 5 -6 times. As trust build I hope things improve. I also hope as trust builds between your and your T you will feel more safe to talk about this. I hope this has helped you some.