Cowboy, I'm so sorry for your pain. There is no why, no sense to this kind of tragedy. If you'd known this was the price, would she have been worth it? You know that she was and that the time you had with her was a precious thing even if it was too short. It does seem cruel all the pain that is piled on you right now. I'm not sure if you want my prayers you are so angry with God right now. I'm still going to hope that you find healing someday and hold on to the belief that you can get through this. You also have other people counting on you and you can't give up. You're absolutely right, it isn't fair, it's too much to expect of a person, but please just keep putting one foot in front of the other until you get through this. I apologize for shying away from reading about your pain, that was selfish of me. Hugs!