Thank you Rhap. My biggest fear is that he thought I didn't want her with us ... and that was almost realised. His initial anger was for that very reason, but I continued talking quietly and calmly (I normally go overboard).

He just came back to me to say that he should have remembered I am more than his wife but that I am his friend too, and that he should have considered me in this whole thing.

My instictive reaction was to say "hheeelllooo???"

But I didn't - I thanked him for seeing it from my side, even though he thought I didn't want his daughter here, and that I appreciate him re-thinking the whole thing.

Knowing my husband as I do, she will STILL come as was originally planned without me as husband will feel apology fixes everything. Even the logistics.