((suzzie)) - I think I might know what you feeling and if I'm not correct then disregard this. Some abuse victims will talk about feeling like 'their bodies betrayed them'. This means that sometimes their bodies felt sexual feelings in a good way during the abuse. This is hard for the child, because they're struggling with the thoughts of shame and its wrong...yet their bodies are saying different. This is normal and okay, so the abuse victim shouldn't feel ashamed because they weren't old enough to make this adult choice.

Another possibility is - some abuse victims end up being drawn to situations where they get abused - maybe this is the way the mind works through the trauma...idk. Its helps to forgive yourself / not feeling guilty and discussing this with your therapist. Wishing you peace ((suzzie))