Quote:
Originally Posted by 2or3things
I understand the urge, Squiggle, and I know it's difficult to combat. From my point of view it seems like you're trying to argue with her about her boundaries, and that doesn't seem like anyone's right to determine but hers. But I'm sure you know that.
And I wonder how it would feel if you found out that she's not a normal person who does normal things? I mean, I don't really even know what that means, cause I tend to think that there's a wide range of acceptable human behavior. In other words, with a few exceptions, I think we're all normal, even people whose lives don't look anything like mine. And I suspect that you know your T's life probably looks pretty normal, too. Why does her normalcy matter so much? Would it change the effectiveness of her treatment? Something else?
Just wondering.
|
I'm really not arguing with her about boundaries. She actually tells me a lot about her life. She told me that she went to a gymnastics camp last week with her girls. She talked about it a little, but didn't go into a lot of detail. That was enough for me, so that anxiety about it all went away. She never knew, and never will know that I was having a struggle with the issue of where she went.
As for how her normalcy would matter? It matters because I think I am so
"not normal". If I hear things that she does/doesn't do it will make me feel more normal. That sounds weird, but it will.
She has actually told me some of her
'quirks'. She has told me about some of her insecurities, so its not like she is a very strict therapist that doesn't share anything at all. She pretty much will talk about her life as long as I am not using it to avoid talking about my life. She reminds me all the time that I am not paying her to talk about herself!
I am the one who is messed up. I have to know that I am safe with the person I am trusting to help me. I have to know that she is not going away or going to discharge me on a whim. That is something that even after two years, I still worry about. She knows I do.
We have a great relationship. I am just still scared of it.