Thanks for that visualization. I tried it and it almost put me to sleep. Idk if I can do it at work or if I am in a tough spot ( on the spot ) but I'm willing to try. I'm a visual person too so that helps.

I actually just tried to be in the moment. I walked the dogs which is a big deal for me...I try and do that once a day or they are really wound up. I also went shopping for bras- I put on a little weight and need them. So I got some great new colors and did something to get out of the house and for myself. I feel pretty good considering.

I did call my mom and dad...dad listened and was supportive..mom was all mad and bitter at my ex. Not exactly what I needed to hear. Whatever. Im just sad to see how happy he is. It's not fair, but then again I know life isn't fair. She's living the life I always wanted- with him. I gotta stop or else I'll start crying again, which is what I've been doing every night for a while now.

One more day and then the holiday off. I was going to go to my parents house overnight and watch fireworks. Now I don't wanna go. Should I, or just do my own thing. Idk

I did make an appt with my pdoc for sat, well the nurse practitioner....so maybe she can help somehow. Although I'm not sure how.