I think I understand what you are saying . One of my biggest issues is that I questions the future events of a situation. My anxiety took over when I watched a boy have seizure next to me. That day I realize how fragile my life is ... How easily it can be taken away by uncontrollable forces.

Ever since then, I lay in my bed ALOT & when friends ask me to go places ( especially malls, concerts.. Places with crowds ) I tell them I can't go. I'm just so afraid someone will fall over & die or have a seizure.. Or a heart attack. I feel really bad for my friends . They used to spend so much time with me but I can hardly be around them. My family just doesn't get me .. They want me to work, but working is hard because I have a lot of symptoms that get in the way.

Anymore , I feel like I just effect myself & others negatively , but I can't end my life . I feel like I just have to keep pushing. So , yes . I relate to you. I know that feeling because it is a part of me ... & I'll be honest - I haven't figured out how to cope with it or really my anxiety in general. Right now I'm just trying to live & I guess that's what you are doing too. We all have a purpose. Even the negative things we do bring some realization to someone ... Keep your head held high.