I'm glad you have a great relationship. That matters so much, right?

As for the rest, though, even if it's not a struggle about boundaries per se, it seems to me that it's at least a bit of a struggle about what she will and won't give you. (And I think that might be about boundaries, but maybe not.) In both cases--about her telling you about her personal life and about her seeming normal--the thing you seem to be saying is that something about what she does in her personal life will have an impact on who you are. And while it's great for a T to model positive behavior, etc. in the moment, therapy isn't supposed to work the way you're looking for it to, I think...

If, for example, you base your sense of normalcy on how much you replicate the sorts of things T does, you'll never feel "normal enough." Because you're uniquely Squiggle, and need to appreciate your own strength and wonderfulness, not take someone else's as your own. It's a T's job to help you get to the point where you're confident and calm enough about who you are. Having a sense of normalcy come from your proximity to her won't work, especially if/when you get to the point of not needing therapy anymore. And putting herself out of a job is generally an ethical T's aim with each patient, as it should be.

I hope this helps a little. And hang in there, Squiggle. I know it's hard, but you'll get there!