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Jul 03, 2012, 08:50 AM
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Member Since: Oct 2010
Location: Michigan
Posts: 6,543
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Dearheart, we are only "laypeople." We are in the hands of the doctors, and we aren't supposed to KNOW about these things. We have to trust what the doctors tell us. They told you that he NEEDED the bypass surgery, and you TRUSTED that that's what he needed!!! Without it, he would NOT have survived long anyway, my friend. So you did what you felt SHOULD have been done. You did what ANYONE would have done! 
You have GOT to stop beating yourself up for this. Your dear husband is GRATEFUL for your attempt at saving him!!! But it just was not meant to be. God had a job for him to do up THERE --- He is needed there! Your hubby doesn't want you to beat yourself up. YOu did exactly what you were supposed to do!!! You surely couldn't do any more. 
Now it's time to try to start healing. Yes, it's early but this guilt has to be let go or you NEVER will heal. You did NOT let him down!!! You took care of him to the best of your ability but you DID NOT LET HIM DIE!!! You couldn't do more!!
When you start to feel guilty, replace those thoughts with GOOD thoughts of things you and your hubby did, places you went, pleasant things. But get those guilty thoughts OUT of your mind. Pretty soon it will become habit, and those thoughts will be gone. Please try it, ok? God bless, my friend. We're all behind you. We know what you're going thru. Big hugs, Lee  
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