Quote:
Originally Posted by hamster-bamster
I am still thinking and I am still unsure. I am also unsure as to what/when/if at all to tell my ex-husband. When I was daydreaming about D., it did not occur to me to run the idea by my ex-husband first because D "predates" him by 10 years - my relationship with D. is something old and sacred. But here... just yesterday my ex-husband, who has sole custody, was commenting how he could have gotten a girlfriend but does not do it for the sake of the kids. And here I am, playing around. I feel bad. I feel like telling him before someone sees me with A. and tells him - I do not want that scenario at all. Of course, if all I do is visit A at home, I can keep things completely private. Right now, I think that it is rational to first meet A., decide whether I want to go any place with him, and THEN think about what to tell my ex-husband.
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Oh your poor martyr of an ex-husband. Boo hoo for him. Maybe that sounds cold and calloused, but when I see someone say "I COULD date people, but I don't because of yada yada yada" I think that's garbage. I don't have kids, so maybe I can't possibly understand that actual statement but I think if he wanted to date someone he should and he could find someone that would be fine with the kids. There is no doubt that kids should be important, but is every other woman he going to find be some sort of toxic influence on them?
Even if it is valid to not date someone because of children, that doesn't mean he has to tell you because, in my eyes, him saying that to you is really just to make you feel guilty. Apparently it's working.
I don't know your exact situation and how long you've been divorced, but I see no valid reason you can't date someone or a few someone's.
Great read, btw. It's fun to have people interested in you. I was out this weekend and even though I have gotten the woman I wanted back in my life and it's going great, I was out with a friend and his friend's friend or something was interested in me. I didn't care, but I put the charm on and made her laugh a lot. Nothing happened and never will, I'd be surprised if I ever saw her again, but having people interested in you is a stimulant. At least for me.