Since being off meds as of last August, I've cycled from hypo to depressed to normal a few times now. Usually these phases last a month or two at a time and they are never really in order. I have never caught myself being manic. I always looked back at the things I regretted and felt shame for, the money I spent, AFTER the fact.

But here I am, coming off about 2 months of depressed, then about 2 weeks of 'normal'... As of Friday, I think I entered hypomania. I got an e-mail from my ex that destroyed the first few hours of my Friday, but I loved the way I handled it and I got downright giddy after that. You can read about that here.

Fast forward to Friday night and I go to a baseball game. My friend asks me to come out with him afterwards with his friends who I don't know. I hate bars, I hate social stuff with a lot of people I don't know. But I told him about my therapy and 'opposite action' and he joked that I needed to have do the opposite of what I wanted. He was right, so I went out and I was the life of the party. That so isn't me. I didn't drink or anything, I've always said my head is too broken to recover from alcohol, but I ended up having a blast anyhow.

Saturday I drive 2 and a half hours on a whim to surprise my girlfriend at work. I was driven to make her smile and surprise her, it felt awesome to see the double take she gave me when she saw me show up.

Sex drive was insane this weekend, but at my 'worst' my sex drive gets taken out on one person and that's how it always will be. She wasn't complaining, quite the opposite.

I went to bed at 3 on Friday and Saturday, got up at 8. Last night slept from 12:30 to 4:45. Feel great. Don't need sleep.

Yesterday I bought a pair of $200 headphones because the $250 pair on my head wasn't to my liking. I'll sell stuff on eBay to fill the hole.

Sorry for the ranting, things are awesome, but I've never caught myself while HM. Maybe now that I have, I can stop it from getting too crazy and getting to the point where I do things I regret. Regardless of what happens, I am going to enjoy this while it lasts. I know depression is ahead at some point, but it's worth it when life is this good.