I don't mean that I will try to keep an ideal picture of him. That is as destructive as keeping a bad picture of him. I just don't get nowhere if I hold him responsible for the unsuccessful ending. That would prevent me from truly grieving, and then I would be really in trouble. My major conflict in the therapy was not solved, the fact that I could not stop and consequently could not get to the real problem that pesters me in my life.
I am considering seeing some other therapist, but I don't know if that is a good idea. I don't know any other therapist. I realize that I have to do something, because this situation is too precarious. It seems not healthy.
Are you in a terminating process?