I have already known that part of myself to some degree. I had some awareness and it's been talked about in therapy but It was the first time I took a test or saw it in writing.

A lot of 'experiences' has shaped that and it's hard to change and trust the process for change. Things are better in some ways such as my relationship with my husband but in other ways I feel like I'm just beginning.

I felt grounded because??? I'm not sure why. It was momentarily but nice. I haven't binged since that post but I'm feeling the urge coming up. I'm going to try really hard to journal my emotions and tell myself 'you are an adult that makes adult choices, you are in control'. Don't let your emotions control you.