OE, I hope you are doing well today! From what I read, you did a great job handling everything (even though the aftereffects were not pleasant...I know, that is an understatement) I am also so sorry you didn't get the support you needed from your husband. I do think it is great that you are able to put in writing what you needed/wanted from him. And that it is not an attention thing, but a VERY real fear/trepidation and all you want is comfort.
I like your car analogy too.
*hugs to you today*