I used to have friends who were quite playful and we were always messing around doing weird (but harmless) crap. I so miss that. I'm the only playful person now. One moved and decided to grow up (closing in on 40) and the other who is a little older got a serious GF that makes her serious too... She can sometimes be a little silly. But when GF is with us, you have to be an adult! And I hate that!

I can be really tired, or sick or down or whatnot, so I have serious days, but now I have to be serious all the time, and I HATE it. I truly feel something is taken from me and I can literally feel my face wrinkling and my hair greying, because if it is true what they hint I'm not young, I must be old. And I'm getting insecure about being silly because of that.

I hate all the social rules how you are supposed to be. And when we were as most childish, yea SOME people glared, but most people actually liked looking at us and some were even inspired talking to us (which is a nono with strangers in my country).

BLEH.