Hi IT! I often wonder why I am unable to have a career and a marriage and "normal" healthy children who can make their way in life and friends who I can go places and do things with. I live with my Mom on a farm with my disabled son. She needs me here though I don't feel like a very adequate caregiver. Everyone else does not have a perfect life. Lately I've been gathering materials and books to do with things I used to enjoy, they just sit there. Really I don't like to go out and do things. I'm uncomfortable around people. I'm meeting up with a group of friends I met online at a wellness summit this fall and it scares me. I have a community service placement under a grant to help unemployed seniors that pays me minimum wage for 20 hours a week. It's great working for a nonprofit agency. Much better than any other job I've had. Just temporary though and I have to be looking for a "real" job. If I try to go to school the anxiety makes me nuts. I guess what I mean is don't feel alone IT.