Hi I'm Alex. Some of you know me already as Ruben's twinbrother.
His story is on here too somewhere. He passed away of leukemia last march.
Everything pretty much went downhill from there.
Our father used to be abusive. He'd hit me and he used to s.xually abuse my twinbrother. When my brother told the nurse at the hospital about the beatings he ended up in jail eventually. He tried to strangle my brother for telling after he was released on bail or something so now he's locked away for a good long time. I guess that's a good thing though. Except my mom is not doing very well mentally, after my brother passed away and with the divorce and acute moneyproblems i guess she couldn't handle it no more.
So my brother and sister and I all live somewhere else for now. And my mother doesn't want help so it can be a long time before we can go home..
But im talking just to not have to talk about why i tried to post this in the first place..
Not so long after my brother passed away the neighbour suddenly started to show interest in us again. To anyone else it probably seemed like he wanted to be a good neighbour after all that happened to us but I knew that he wasn't a nice guy. I'm almost 100% sure some things happened between him, my father and my brother. Yet not a moment did i think he might try to do something to me too.. I guess i was still stuck in the old role pattern.. But when I was home alone he attacked me and i pretty much froze.. I should of screamed or run or something but everything went so quick. He catched me alone when i was walking out of my room and he grabbed me, put his hand over my mouth and pushed me back into the room. It didn't occur to me what was happening till he started to take my pants off and then it felt like 'the movie' went from fast forward into slow motion.. I'm used to pain but nothing could have prepared me for this.
After a couple of times I tried to carefully tell my mom about my father and the neighbour, but she wouldnt even believe me about the things our father has done to Ruben.. She yelled at me said i was lying, even hit me. I didn't even bother telling her about the neighbour. So it went on sometimes 1 time a week sometimes 5 times.
I feel so disgusting... Its been a few weeks since the last time since I moved out and everything but I saw him again this weekend when we visited our mother, he didn't touch me because of all the people around but I felt so shaky I was glad i was holding on to something when i saw him.
I cant believe my brother went trough this for years its only a few months for me and i already feel so disgusting I'm tired a lot and my stomach hurts whenever i do something that requires more activity then walking to the bathroom or kitchen and sometimes i have to throw up. But i didnt tell anyone about that so they just think im tired because im not sleeping so well. I feel so stupid i was 14/15 not a little kid and i let it happen anyway.