Good luck, ChristySpirals. I am on my meds and stable, but I know exactly how you feel about the meds, about drinking, etc. Sometimes I have to give myself a little "poor me" time with a couple of glasses of wine-not very often, but it does happen. I also have really wanted to go off of my meds lately, but my t and pdoc are doing their jobs by convincing me to stay on them. Still...sometimes I really don't want to handle this disease and I convince myself that the two different times I have been tested and diagnosed might have been mistakes!

Btw, when I am irritable it is because my hypomania has increased. I go from a great feeling to ready to scream!