I'm so sorry you're in this horrible situation!
I have so many thoughts, mainly agreeing with other's replies.
First of all, I agree about maybe visiting the ACOA forum, or perhaps finding a local acoa support group or al-anon support group. The alcoholism in your family surely plays into your feelings of low self-esteem, and into your relationship with your boyfriend. He is deffinetely not helping this situation. I agree with others that his words are thoughtless and very hurtful, and just terrible! You don't deserve to be talked to that way. I know how bad this feels, because my mom always used to say these sorts of things, being mean when I would cry and not understanding, even though I know she deals with depression herself. I just moved out because of her, (one of the reasons,) and am now in a residential facility for the blind. Even though it has it's issues I'd rather be there than at my parent's house!
I also agree with others about medications. Over the years I was back and forth about it. When I was 18 I was put on zoloft, and it helped. I went off it after a few years because I was with a therapist who didn't believe that I was depressed or needed medication! (yeah, she was really a bad therapist) Anyway, I just went back on it about a year ago, and I'm so glad I made that decision. I can tell you that at least for me, zoloft is very effective and I have no side effects. You might want to find a psychiatrist, (I personally wouldn't use a primary care doctor as they have little training on psych meds) who can evaluate you and discuss meds. I know for me when I first went on them, talking with my new psychiatrist helped me be less scared of them.
Also, I really think you should see a therapist. It sounds like you have so many issues to sort out, (the depression, family members having died of alcoholism, this creepy unsupportive boyfriend, your work, friends...) the list goes on. It must be so overwhelming to have all this stuff just in your head. You really deserve a caring nonjudgmental profesional to talk through this stuff, and mostly just be a solid support for you.
Know that me and others on this forum believe in you. With the right support in place I think anyone can do anything. You just have to reach out, like you did coming on here and posting. That's a wonderful first step. Please keep us updated.