i know there are ppl out there to help but finding how to get across how your feeling is so hard

and i don't want ppl to think bad of me

i just went through 3 years trying to get the hospital to let me

and i can't risk losing all the work i have done and them sending me back

i try to come across to everyone who knows me that i am ok
and i know i am not
i am far from it
and like everything is so hard now
i don't wanna answer the phone incase i can't handle the call
there is just one thing after another and i have this whole bunch of stuff i need to sort out
and to get stright in my head
i have no idea where to start