Angel, I'm so glad you joined this forum!
First of all, from the first line of your post I was struck by what an amazing writer you are. You might have trouble physically speaking, but your writing voice is incredibly strong. You have a very precise way of saying things that draws the reader in to know exactly how you're feeling.
I'm so sorry about the abuse you suffered, both in your childhood and now in college. Know you never deserved that!
I agree with you actually. I'm not sure going and trying to talk to a therapist or psychiatrist would be the best approach for you though I think you could use some help.
Have you ever heard of expressive arts therapy? It's a set of creative arts therapy approaches that use, art drama, dance, music, movement and yes Writing! to help people heal and work through issues. I think any one of these approaches would be useful for you, as they often are for those that have trouble putting things into words and physically speaking.
I think that eventually the question of when to speak or not speak could be something for you to explore, but certainly not right away. Starting where you are and working from there is important.
Know that we're all here on the forum for support. And I look forward to reading more of you're wonderful writing!
If you want more information on expressive arts therapy just let me know, and I can either post it here or you can PM me or I can give you my personal e-mail.
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