Big Mama, my T also suggested that my husband and I separate for a while to give us both time and space to work on our respective issues. I think, in retrospect, he was right, and it would have been better to do so. I know that I had big gaps in working on my actual issues while T helped me struggle with issues with my husband. I know my husband kept insisting for an unreasonably long time that his only issue was ADD, and he refused to actually address his underlying issues until just two weeks ago.

You should carefully consider your T's advice about the separation. I think both my husband and I would have progressed much faster if we had separated.