You talk of destroying his concern for you and the therapy,etc. But it just sounds to me like he decided to basically retire from his work, perhaps due to issues concerning his wife. I know you are grieving for the loss of this therapy relationship, but you need to gain some persective that YOU didn't destroy it. Heck, you didn't even end it. It just ended due to whatever the circumstances were for your therapist. That will take perhaps help to get through, but making yourself into some kind of cause of the destruction of this therapy relationship is not based on the information you have provided about the circumstances and it's clearly not helping you gain perspective. Find a therapist who can help you work through this grief. The grief seems normal under the circumstances, but the self-blame you are inflicting on your self seems unfounded and damaging to you. Please find some therapeudic help to get you through this pain; some fresh eyes on your situation seems like a good idea at this point.