You have come such a long way, Alex. You speak more strongly now, though the pain of Rubin's loss is with you still of course. I'm glad you've been able to come here now and tell us more completely what really happened.

It's heartbreaking that your family's been destroyed in all this, and that the trauma of this will probably never leave you--but I can understand that you just can't deal with any more of it on your own. I know I would never have done so well.

At some point, if you have an opportunity to work with a therapist, it's something you might try ... But we will be here, ready & able to listen at least.
Rubin was so dear to many of us--as are you, Alex.

Roadie