Somuchmore,
Your husband sounds a lot like my Dad. People like that don't change for anything. Maybe, but im not sure, as a child his parents forced him to search in himself for comfort or made it a negative thing for him to turn to others... Maybe you should sit him down & have a face to face conversation. First address the problem, then ask him what he think about it & why he thinks that it is wrong that your son turns to her when he's in fear. Then explain your side. Just try to keep a level head & try to find some middle ground.

Regardless of what happens, I wish you the best of luck with your husband & never let love die .