"21 is young and at that age a death can have a profound effect and most that age simply do not have the life skills to know how to deal with it."

Thank you, Open Eyes, reading this made me feel a whole lot better about myself.
The truth is, I actually feel like such a loser because even after 3 years I seem to not be able to handle the situation and my life well. And I always considered myself, at 21, very much officially grown-up.
I used to be very motivated and hardworking. I feel like I let that totall be swept away and I feel so frustrated about it.

Your lines gave me a very different perspectice, thank you