I love him more than a brother, I wouldn't get in a car with any random driver.
I NEEDED to know he got home safely.

We lived together for 2 years, he told me recently that there was a helpline he used to call that helped him deal with living with me, like a friends and family line that the hospital gave him when I was there, he was only 19 at the time, his life had been 'normal,' I feel responsible that I've entered him into my warped world where the behaviour I demonstrate becomes acceptable. I understand it's not but people tolerate me, when they don't have to.

Yes you're right I want answers that you cannot give.
I'm stuck in limbo, I can't let go of him, but I'll never truly have him again like I used to, of I was able to behave like a normal person our relationship would be fine, he shouldn't be punished because i'm substandard