So sorry this happened. But since you made the decision to terminate, you can change your mind, right? This sounds like a rupture, and ruptures can be repaired. It sounded like you were doing so well with this T, are you sure the two of you can't work it out? Maybe T is feeling bad about her reaction? Can you try one more session to see if it can be salvaged?

Crappy to have this happen on a holiday ....... Please don't self-harm. Then you'll feel even worse. Call a friend??