I can understand how you are feeling.....I went through years like that.....& I can understand how your daughter feels because mine felt very much the same.....I was still living with my husband....at the time I didn't realize that he was part of why I felt the suicidal way I felt.....but my daughter needed to be out of the house & all the drama that was happening while I was constantly suicidal & constantly had the paramedics at the house.....she needed to have her life....senior in high school & trying to get through college......she wasn't a part of why I was feeling the way I was feeling & there was nothing she could have done to change how I felt either.....it was the best thing for my daughter to move out.

I have gotten through that horrible period of my life.....& my daughter & I now get along well.......& we both love & care for each other. I feel bad that I put her through those emotions but I also realize that I wasn't able to deal with the emotions that I was experiencing & if I had the therapy I have now, I may not have gotten to the point I did then......but it is what it was & we have both accepted that & put it in the past where it belongs....for me, it's a huge black hole....I am sure it's more than a black hole period of her life during that time.

Please get the help you need & if you can find a therapy group that does DBT....it's a wonderful place to start learning more about yourself & getting in touch with the emotions that cause the desire for the actions you are feeling.