Thank you both for the replies. I definitely recognized myself as being less "fun", if you want to call it that. The last visit we were low key and I think she resented me for not being able to let loose with her. Over the course of the next week she was out "having a drink" 3 nights of 6. However, I wouldn't say she was an alcoholic. I can't say that.

Regardless, I guarantee it had something to do with it. She wants to get out and have fun and since I am early in recovery I am very reserved and docile. I have to take things slow and seriously this time around because I don't want to go through this pain anymore. I see people now in the program that have just as much fun, as if they aren't even drinking. And eventually that is going to get old anyway... for me it already is.

I want a deeper connection, something her and I always struggled with but I started to really feel at the time she started to really NOT feel it. I don't know.. I will never know what it going on in her head. All I know is mine is completely spinning. I can't keep her out of my head. I am completely depressed. It's hard to focus at work. I'm insecure and terrified of the future. All normal from what I am being told.

I have faith that this experience with the pain associated with getting sober, figuring out who I am, facing who I was, and suffering through a break up all at the same time will mold me into a strong man into the future.

Thanks again for your support!