Ggtina, I know your struggle.

Don't get yourself too beaten up about it.
Psych meds aren't like vitamins that do you good or you just waste them if your body doesn't need them. Psych drugs do things to you that can be distressing. The pharmaceutical companies mildly refer to it as "side effects" which in reality aren't that inconsequential. It isn't at all surprising to me that so many people struggle with this.

These drugs are meant to help with problems like distress and the risk of dangerous behaviour. If they aren't solving a serious problem (either being ineffective, or creating other serious problems that outweigh the initial concerns), then seriously evaluate their appropriateness for you.

But be aware that going on psych drugs and suddenly stopping can mess us up and dramatically exacerbate symptoms.

If you think you should be off drugs, please get your psychiatrist on board and do it gradually over a period of time, and with a good safety net of support and a low stress environment?

(HUGs)

TS