It's hard for me to dedicate myself to my work. I periodically/constantly have anxiety that I'm being taken advantage of, that I'm allowing myself to be controlled by authority figures, etc. While I'm at work it's easy to work on other things - I can lose myself in outside projects and side tasks - but when I'm not at work, I'm not as able to lose myself in these same things -- I can feel like it's no longer exciting, etc.

So in general, it's hard to lose myself and "just work." My job is good, I like it, but I have anxiety about feeling "trapped" 'til I can leave, etc. It can make me feel helpless and dominated. I don't want to have that anxiety, but I also don't want to feel like I'm ignoring my feelings and thoughts; I want to know if something is really wrong, but I don't know if there is.

It almost seems sometimes like I want to have the anxiety; like I want the uncomfortableness and pressure. I just dunno if that's the case, though; I'm so confused.

And I should add that, a lot of the time I indulge more in negative thinking and negative predictions rather than just letting myself be in the moment. How can I treat that?

Any wisdom you can share is very welcome

Thanks,
Sean