>> you have all said that I should not worry too much about my lack of emotion, but what if it means I didn't love my dog as much as I thought I did?

I don't think you can second guess love that way. You loved him when he was alive, nothing that you feel or don't feel now alters the way you felt or the way you feel now. " but what if it means..." In this sense, feelings don't "mean" anything, they just are. And in this case I would just reiterate that not only should you not worry about drawing conclusions from your current feelings, but the conclusions that you do seem to be drawing are likely not accurate. Sometimes we just don't display or feel strong emotions as a result of grief. That is just your current reaction to this loss... it doesn't have to have anything to do with how much you loved Dexter.

>> I should not worry too much about my lack of emotion

Actually I think you should not worry at all about it. Just accept whatever comes.

It also just occured to me that the feelings you are having, questioning your love of Dexter, maybe these confusing feelings are your emotional reaction to this loss.

Another of the stages of grief is anger:

<blockquote><font size=1>In reply to:</font><hr>

We can blame others for our loss. We can become easily agitated having emotional outbursts. We can even become angry with ourselves. Care must be taken here not to turn this anger inwards. Release of this anger is a far better way to cope with grief in my experience.

<hr></blockquote>

You may simply be feeling some guilt and anger and expressing it as not "feeling" properly rather than as anger directly over the loss.

Again, I think this is normal, and I am sure that it is OK. Just take it as it comes. I also hope it is helping just to express yourself here on this board. Expressing these thoughts rather than keeping them bottled help can certainly help you cope.

Good luck silver queen. Keep posting here as long as necessary.

-- The world is what we make of it --
-- Dave
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