Everyone is a basket case when they first come in or get back to meetings and the AA group. I certainly was too. I had lost my best friends, alcohol and drugs. Mine was a dark and lonely place, surely like yours.

In meetings, I would become bored and struggle to stay to the end. Still do sometimes! I would count the tiles on the floor or bricks on the wall, anything to stay still. When the meeting was over, I would bolt for the door, I was convinced no one would want to be around me because I thought I was cat sh it on your shoe. It took time, but I found solace with these people. I just had to make myself spend time with them. I started adopting newcomers, not to be their sponsor, but just a friend. Working with others is very helpful.

Letting go of the past hurts, no 2 ways about it. Hurts bad. But you can't afford to go backwards, your life depends on your new decisions. Make 'em smart, ok? Of course, JME.