I have been really depressed and suicidal. I went inpatient for a few days but had to leave due to insurance transferring over. I am waiting for the new insurance to kick in so I can go back. I feel so horrible, so suicidal. I try to stay around people everyday. I hope the insurance kicks in tomorrow but it probably won't until Mon or Tuesday. I am afraid. So very afraid that I will never get better. I know logically that I will feel better at some point, but also I know it will get this bad again. Over and over and over. I hate my life. I hate it. I just don't know how long I can hold on. My T and pdoc know about this.