There's a differences between taking responsibility and "beating your self up". Your family doesn't seem to be choosing the right phrases to comfort you while you're in pain. This is the "repair-plan" phase. You said you have a journal, look into it to identify your beginning hypo/manic symptoms. Repair is thing like having a date night, doing things you enjoy, and showing appreciation for the people who helped you through it.

Prepare is more identifying warning signs, length, support people and developing plans for the symptoms. We have them written down and sign so when we are not well we can't refuse that we made it and wanted that response to symptom, when well. Mine includes help like when I need more prompting to do needed thing like: reminder to take meds., sleeping meds, pushed into the shower, dragged outside, meals cooked for me, getting to appointments and when to call my therapist or pdoc. It really helpful to us when we are having bad times. My therapist also has a copy.

Don't beat yourself up it's called a high for a reason, your not completely in control but now you can plan better for next time.