I have to take this in my literal way. I never used to resent my mother until a year ago. We used to get along fine now I am turning into a moody teenager with her. I guess I will take that as its my time to heal. I ran for 22 years with so much other stuff accumulating throughout those years that running became comfortable, running didn't let me sit and hurt. I didn't even get sick of running but somehow I've stopped with no warning and everything is coming out. I mean everything, even down to my mother smacking the damn dog.

I can't talk on the phone with ppl who have wronged me anymore, I feel enough detachment that I attack them. Over the phone or text I can't see their faces which in turn makes me become that people pleasing idiot that puts others needs/feelings first. Any little thing they say that puts others before me makes my skin boil because it is about damn time I got my turn, for ppl to care about me, to care about what I have to say, what I am going through, how my f*&king day went!!!!

So I think that as we get older either that F U attitude comes out because enough is enough or it is the mind saying its time to heal.