((((Nat))))I am sorry you are hurting. The heart wants what the heart wants. Sometimes it gets in the way of logical, rational thinking. No matter who the person.

That said, I am quite sure the man you are referring to is not bad. In fact, he is probably quite charming...however, when you look at the entire picture, this man has given you every reason to stay away. Please listen to reason and look at the reality of it and focus on that. Your safety, your health come first. Putting you and your family in danger, serious danger, is the reality.

This isn’t a movie or just words on paper. It is a reality you do not want to get involved with. Trust me.

I know you care very much for him but have you considered the fact that he is not contacting you to protect you? To me, that is the most loving thing he can do for you.

I am speaking from experience. Two of my sisters got caught up in the same situation...yes, there is a group/strong family element to it. But once they got involved with that element, they were stuck. What followed was horrible. And tragic. A lot of death, illegal activities, drugs, war, retaliation, prison, children born into the world without fathers, run ins with the police, poverty and misery. Constant heartache.

And it bleeds over into family members’ lives putting them in danger and setting them up for misery.

I would really urge you to re-examine your motivation for wanting to continue with this person when it is guaranteed that you will suffer and have regret and see and experience things you will pray you never got involved in...even simply by association. After what I have seen and experienced I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. Innocent people could die because of your choices.

I know what I say is probably hard to take in, but trust me...stay away. Live your life without making a conscious decision setting yourself up for serious danger.

Also please think of your family and future children...

Maybe he will be lucky enough to leave that part of his life behind and come back to you when it is safe and healthy. Until then, grieve and mourn the loss of someone you loved and for the relationship that has ended. Honor yourself and your heart.

I hope you will take this to heart. I would hate to see another lovely person set themself -and their family- up for what you want to sign up for.
Be strong.
Hugs
Rose

Ps my heart breaks for my nephews and nieces that will never have a real chance at a safe life because of my sisters’ decisions. They are all under 16 and have already experienced many losses. I do not see them either. I had to get away for fear of my sisters’ choices and the danger.

It is a loss of epic proportions for all of us.