(((Illegal))),

The last I heard you were in a psychward, am I correct? I think that you have just been wandering around so much psychologically lost that because you are "possibly" in a safer atmosphere and are getting attention, you are just finally releasing a lot of pent up frustration.

From what I have come to know about you, you have needs and you have not been able to figure out how to fill your needs on your own. And you have been ((trying))).

And you know what Illegal? This happens to a "lot" of people, so you are not alone.
But when we cannot seem to fill our own needs, it does lend to our feeling hopeless and useless as a person.

Some people get really angry and look for ways to take that anger out on others. They even play strange games and take up with making it a point to be deceptive in some way, while all the while thinking they are gaining something. Some people just hybernate and isolate themselves, feeling that they just can't function around others or that others will only hurt them somehow.

The bottom line is that when we finally get to a point where we cannot manage somehow, the answer is through reaching out and finding therapy. And it is always important to understand that "therapy" is not a quick fix. Therapy is something that we enter into to discuss our personal history and how that has effected us and our perceptions of others as well as ourselves. We slowly learn how to find the areas where we struggle and begin to learn new ways to slowly gain tools to interact with others better and gain more self esteem of our own.

Crying is ok toilet, you just need to let that out. Make a decision to be willing to learn how you can finally learn how to help yourself better (yes, I mean learn how to learn). It doesn't mean you are a failure. We all have our own ways to struggling and using tools to manage ourselve around others that may not be helpful to us at all. It is not about being ashamed, it is about recognizing our unique needs and that we CAN "learn" how to address these needs better.

I hope your stay in this psychward/facility brings you to the right kind of therapy that will help YOU learn how to better manage YOU.

(((Hugs)))
Open Eyes