Are you shopping while you are in a depression? I usually shop when I am hypo like you are describing. Wonder if its some sort of mixed state? I think you need to speak to your doctor. Tell him your fears of being hospitalized. I too have the same fears. Its so hard when you feel this way. As if death seems so peaceful. I hate when I get this way. You are not alone. People are here to listen and support you. Just try to find a way to talk to your husband and your doctor so tht they know whats going on. I know those talks are the hardest but someone needs to know outside of us. Someone who can watch for signs incase things get worse. Im here with you riding the waves of depression.