It has been 6 1/2 months since my brain injury during training at a police academy. I have not able to do any of my usual coping things, like martial arts, running, or hiking. I can't even take a walk outside because it is too flippin hot and humid where I live, and exertion is still too much for me. I basically work all day, and then go home and sleep because I am too tired to do anything else.

Or if I have the kids, I have to have us watch tv because even though I sit all day at work, I don't have the energy to do anything else. I feel so alone, and so helpless, which I am not used to feeling helpless because I usually am very empowered and such. And believe me I have tried to exercise, but it sets me back a day or so in recovery. Even Yoga messes me up. How can something that involves being still mess me up?

This isn't my first bout with depression, I was hospitalized when I was 18, but I got through it. And now, I am seeing a T, but it has been a while since I have seen her. (I have an appt Wed) I just need to vent. I know my issues are totally not even close to a lot of the people's here, but I really really need to talk. I feel like crying I am so alone.

None of my friends or family understands, and with the brain injury thing, I look okay on the outside, but my skills/function are really impaired, so my parents/friends think I should be fine, and are probably sick of hearing about it anyway. I just don't know what to do, and I guess I will just have to be thankful I have the ability to go to work and walk, and I am really not horribly mentally impaired, its just a complete change of lifestyle and it is REALLY getting to me.

*sigh* thank you for reading. If you made it through this post, and this self-pity party, I thank you.